I don't know what else to do. Going to sleep seems illogical.. I'm not tired. My entire system of
thinking has been burned down to nothing. .. except nothing is my new system, though in it's self the whole is to not be a system. I'm scared without it.. and I don't know what to do. It'd be easier just to go back but obviously easiest is almost never right. Judging upon
past patterns I would end up not caring whether or not it's right and just do it because it works.
It feels hollow but hollow feels good. I feel hollow.. and I feel good. The only reason I'd actually end up dropping this habit I've put 5 years of work into is for her... there's always a girl involved..
You make me feel wonderful, satisfied, content, confused, like shit.. and I love it all.
I think our biggest problem was that I can't seem to except that neither of us are
perfect.. which is ironic for all the times I've told you no one's perfect to comfort you..
I'm sure whoever's reading this if any but you.. if I even told you in the morning , that this excessive use of periods seems retarded. well, ....... .. ... -that was meant as a joke. I know it's terribly awful humor, but that's what you do to me, you make my mind marvel. -and for once
my disgusting line of logic isn't present to prevent it to any extent.
I don't like dictionary.com 's definition of love. I like you. I like that no matter what, I know that I'll roll down the hill, and you'll be at the bottom.
I like the way you smile. I like how you treat everyone you meet.
I like that you make me realize things that I never would've thought of. I like that I don't feel in need to figure out how to say something that will grow our relationship. I like that I finally
realize that, and that it was because of you. I like that everything we've been through in an insignificant amount of time forces me to accept imperfection. I like you. maybe I even love you. I like that definition of love, but it's probably biased... but I don't even care.
... I'm tired. weird.
Come run away from the deepest and most hidden roots of life's social expectancies with me. The brochure looks pretty.
